Desi Indian College Girl
”I pushed him off me and rolled over to get off the bed. It was now I realised that I was actually quite pissed. I had no control over my legs and crashed into a chair, managed to knock a champagne glass of the dresser and staggered and bounced off the wall before making it into the bathroom. After throwing up, as I knelt clutching the bowl with both hands, I remembered that I always get drunk really quickly when I have my period. I managed to get up and rinsed my mouth under the tap and staggered back into the bedroom.He was sitting on the bed, looking concerned. I remember him asking, “Are you ok?” as I crawled onto the bed and slumped.------I woke up and it was dark. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. ‘Where was I?’ was quickly replaced by, ‘What happened?’ He was lying sleeping beside me. I was lying naked in bed. A cold knot gripped my stomach. 'Fuck, did we have sex and I can't remember?' I felt between my legs. 'If we did, please have used a condom,' I silently prayed. I. I spent more money than we had every month and the more my husband yelled at me about it the more I spent.As for the sex, I have never been very fond of sex. It always seemed so dirty, so demeaning. In the beginning I kept my feelings to myself and did what I could to make it pleasurable for my husband. But soon after our daughter was born I lost all interest and it became more difficult to allow myself to be used that way. And long before our relationship had devolved into a good imitation of the warm up to a bout of professional wrestling I had become untouchable. I have to admit though that once the sex stopped altogether it was a relief for me. I miss having a man around sometimes. I miss being held and having someone to cuddle up to. But I don't miss the sex.After a particularly loud and mean spirited argument one evening I insisted that my husband leave and not come back. The second thoughts didn't start until he had been gone for a few days. We both have lawyers now. We are.
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